Solstice, Darkness and LIght

Winter Solstice is my favorite time of year. Growing up in Southern California, intense sunlight is almost a daily experience, and for me it was always too much. I looked forward each year to the longer nights, and the softer quality of the sunlight during Winter. 

I was having supper with some dear friends the other night, and the husband was telling stories about his work trips to Alaska. We were both sharing our experiences of being on the Arctic Circle during Summer, where the sun really never set. I asked him how he felt with the 24 hour light, he said he had to set his clock to make him go to sleep, because he would go go go, unless he had an alarm to remind him to rest. I told him how I found the endless light difficult. We all remarked that in Washington State, where I am visiting, the days are very long in the Summer, and residents are extremely active, but come the long dark nights of Winter, the locals withdraw into their homes and are much less active.

I am often amused at those who proudly proclaim there is no God, and miracles if they exist, can always be explained through materialistic science. I am also intrigued when people report that nothing special ever happens to them. Often during periods of grief or sadness, those who are suffering see nothing positive, no proof of goodness around them. When I am sad and struggling, I look to the heavens, I look around me and I see order, harmony, mystery and love. I especially see these things during the dark days between the Solstice and Epiphany. 

During dark and starry nights, I have lain on a patio deck or on the ground staring into the heavens. When you consider you are peering out into the cosmos, on a planet that is spinning on an axis anywhere (depending on your latitude) from 700 - 1000 miles per hour, around a Sun, that is part of a family of planets and stars, and you are not flung off into space or crash into anything, for me this is always a miracle. Knowing that there are galaxies, an infinite cosmos out before me, always helped to put my current sorrows into perspective. The fact that I live on a planet that provides all to nourish me; water, air, food, along with extreme beauty both here and in the heavens, the realization always takes me out of my sadness. Feeling the darkness around me, seeing what the heavens contains, for what ever reason, makes me feel held, and part of something so much bigger than my current temporary drama.

The Solstice is the longest night of the year. For me on the West Coast of the United States, that point of the Solstice, the beginning of Winter is 9 am on December 21st, Pacific Standard Time. 

This is a fun site where you can find out when Winter officially starts in your area

 http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/sunearth.html?iso=20131221T1710

Recent scientific discoveries illustrate that all of life, the originating cosmic bursting forth that birthed our cosmos, our galaxies, came from darkness. These are some astonishing pictures of Black Holes in Space, taken by numerous telescopes. The NASA website is a great place to see more.

http://www.nasa.gov/

Dark Matter and Dark Energy is the substance that can not be seen, but holds the galaxies together, in a never ending spiral dance, throughout the year, and since the dawn of time. 

Dark Matter and Dark Energy, "discovered" by Astronomer Vera Rubin as she sought to answer questions of how the universe held itself together, is the majority of what makes up the cosmos.

What I find so profound, is that when humans try to answer deep questions about the nature of life, the make up of the Earth and Universe, when they try to answer these questions without looking to God as source, the science they produce for me always points back to the Divine.

Image of a Black Hole Transforming Matter, the Death of a collapsing star 

and the birth of a new one

We are in constant, harmonious motion in our sojourn through space. The stars are teeming with radiant light and activity. Stars are born out of black holes, which are the densest so called voids and abysses of "nothingness," a remnant of a collapsed galaxy or star, and yet the smallest particles of life eliminate from them.

" I will give you treasures of darkness, and the secret riches of hidden places, that you may know I am the Lord God, who calls you by name." Isaiah 43.5

For me, the Black Madonna carries so many messages from the Divine, but the color Black, the dark faces convey this incredible message of cosmic love and universal harmony, a reminder of where we have come from and to where we will return. May this dark time be a period of rest for you, for reflection and renewal that our modern culture, obsessed with artificial light and frenetic activity does not allow. I hope you can carve out time for silence and quiet. May this Solstice be an awakening for you, that you can see and feel the treasures, the cosmic love that birthed the universe which sustains you in body, soul and spirit on this lovely dark day.

The Black Madonna of Vilna, Poland

The War on Christmas

I lived in Germany for a year in my late 20's. I had finished Naturopathic School, and thought I was to be married to the love of my life. My beloved was a sociopath, who was the love of many women's lives, with fiancees in many cities across the nation. When I found this out, I broke off the engagement and fled to a job in Germany for a year, nursing a broken heart but taking in the sights and sounds of Central Europe during a transitional time in history.

When I came back to the states, it was during the "Holiday Season." I got a job in retail, and immediately involved myself in the hustle and bustle of Church, Family and Friends. It was one of the most difficult Christmases of my life. I left the relatively quiet and reserved observance of Christmas in Europe, after a year of soaking in the great Cathedrals and magnificent music that was offered weekly in various Munich churches, to the incessant blaring of Santa songs and twinkling consumerism of 1990's holiday gluttony. My nervous system reeled with the assault, and I underwent a crisis of faith.

For respite, I attended a silent Advent retreat at a local spiritual center. During a Direction meeting with a presenter, I shared my dismay over the blaring hysteria around me. What did all of this rush to buy and eat have to do with the event in Bethlehem? 

A yearly whine that seems to occupy conservative punditry on the air and cable networks is the so called War on Christmas. Debates ensue each December over the ability to have nativity scenes in public places, and what sort of greeting should be given shoppers as they storm discount stores in the middle of the night. Apparently these external practices and displays are the most important thing, and inhibiting them will thwart the Christ impulse amongst humanity. But I have felt for many years that the commercialization, the materialization of Christmas has done the greatest damage of all. A recent study by the Pew Research Center indicates that a large percentage of Americans celebrate Christmas but do not believe in the Christ.

 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/18/christmas-non-religious_n_4453828.html?ref=topbar

Depression is common during this season. But I feel the depression comes from not being able to meet the consumeristic fantasy. The "true spirit of Christmas" the commercials tell us we should feel if only we would buy more stuff is a hollow lie. The true spirit of the season is recognizing the divinity that is within our souls, that Divinity came to us, to set us free from the confines of our minds. We are part of a vast community that is connected with love.

These past few years with the loss of so much in my life, my Christmases have actually gotten better. With no externals to distract, no gifts to be given or gatherings to attend, my focus has been more directed towards the festival itself. While I enjoyed family and friends, the bustle of the holidays past, what I long for most these days is the warmth of the darkness where love shines it's brightest. I long to be alone with God. 

These long dark cold nights of Advent and the Holy Nights are where I can feel the Divine most vividly. I long to dream dreams, to immerse myself in the mystery of God coming to us, to be one of us, to live amongst us, to go through a human life, human trials, human death, to better understand and love us. When you look at all the effort to orchestrate the Birth of the Christ, for me it says how much we are cared for, and what the spiritual world thinks we are capable.

The externals of my life are heart breaking, but the hope of Christmas, of a silent simple Christmas I eagerly anticipate. The veil between the worlds is very thin this time of year, and I savor every second, where I feel the presence of the Divine acutely. Somehow, this desire for everyone to feel this presence, this peace and hope, just can not be put into a simple phrase or a decoration. But I hope you all experience this rich envelopment of Divinity during these last few days of December.

Longing for Darkness

We are now in the Third Week of Advent. When you really think about it, the first season of Advent started with the fall of humanity, often referred to as the Fall of Man. I was listening to some commentary from a Jewish Theologian, where he said there is a cup that catches the sorrowful tears of God. When the cup is full, and starts to overflow, that is when the Messiah will come.

At the time leading up to the Christ event in Palestine, humanity had become as dense as it could be in terms of consciousness of the Divine. We had drawn ourselves so far away from God, that it was nearly impossible to be born. The rituals which used to be effective in order for humanity to open communication with the Spiritual world were no longer effective. There was a great longing and sadness for the lost connection with the heavenly realms, but humanity did not know how to establish the link with existing practices.

What sets Christianity apart from other mystery traditions is the fact that Divinity came to humanity, to be among us, learn what it meant to be in a human body. Divinity longed for humanity to come towards the spiritual, but knew that humanity needed tools and assistance to come towards the spiritual world in freedom.The Christ event was set in motion in order to help humanity with it's journey towards the Divine.

The Third week of Advent is the microcosm for the path of the Christian Initiate called "The Air Trial." In this aspect of development, the seeker has to stand on their own initiative, of being isolated from all familiar surroundings and yet cultivate an attentiveness, a sharp clear awareness of their surroundings and how to find their way towards the spiritual world. All signals from their surrounding environment must be considered. It is a time of isolation, solitude, courage and attention. This week of December embodies the air trial, and most of us can certainly relate to the trial nature of the long journey towards Christmas.

I often think of those final weeks where Joseph and Mary traveled towards Bethlehem. They had no real plan, no set path to follow, everything was done in great faith that something of cosmic importance was unfolding before them.

We know that the spirit and energy of the Earth move outwards towards the cosmos and heavens during the summer, with a great out breathing of the planet. Starting in the late summer, those energies which have been in the realm of the angelic hierarchies start their long decent towards the earth with the cosmic in breathing of the planet. During this third week of Advent, we celebrate the Solstice, where the planet literally completes her in breath, and the love light from the universal realms lies deep within the Earth.

The cosmic energy comes towards Earth at this time of year, and slumbers deep within, nourishing all of life with imaginations of the heavens. We await the birth of the Son during this time, with courage, silence and attention.

It is a difficult week this third week of Advent. The Air Trial allows us to enter into the Temple of Wisdom, but many more trials await, the journey is still long, and there is no full guarantee of the outcome. In a way, Advent is like that journey towards Bethlehem, and there is no set pathway  other than by trusting in the process. The privilege of our time is we know the end of the Christmas story, but in our individual and collective lives, we actually must trust, and act with courage and moral alertness during these turbulent times.

I think the Black Madonna's are a more accurate picture of Advent. Their stern and somber faces point towards a path of wisdom, leading up to the cosmic birth of the Christ. As we labor individually during these difficult days, I hope we can feel the love that supports us during our journey towards the Divine.

As we look to the night sky, which is so dark during these waning days of December, each star is a reminder that in the blackest of night, the light still peaks through. Each point of light beams love and light, of hope and support, just as the love of the Spiritual world towards us.

Darkness, Doubt and the Human Journey

Today is the third day in the Festival of the Virgin of Guadalupe. I have been immersing myself in this narrative for the past month, preparing for a series of lectures and finishing up the next book in my series on The Black Madonna. I have been attending a local Catholic Church here in Ojai for the past month. The name of this country parish is St. Thomas Aquinas, and conducts masses in English and Spanish. There was a workshop on The Virgin of Guadalupe by an expert from the Los Angeles Diocese, and for the last several days there have been special services and events commemorating and celebrating this unique event that happened in Mexico nearly 500 years ago.

The story of Guadalupe is rich with imagery, symbolism and meaning. While much deserved focus during this event is on The Virgin, her appearance and imprinting on the Tilma that still exists today in the Basilica of Guadalupe in Mexico City, I am actually more interested in Juan Diego. He is the Nahuatl native that Guadalupe appeared to numerous times throughout the original drama that unfolded in 1531. It is to Juan Diego whom the Virgin asks, "Where are you going?"  She tells him ask the Bishop to work with the Spaniards and Natives to  "Build me a Temple."

I have the tendency to be too believing at times, wanting to accept the most fantastic stories and events as real. I am always the one clapping my hands off during performances of Peter Pan. I often wonder what I would think and feel if I had experienced the events that Juan Diego witnessed during December 9th - 12th, 1531. What for me is one of the most meaningful parts of this story is how after seeing The Virgin of Guadalupe on several occasions on his walk to and from the local church, his actions on the 11th of December.

The Virgin had asked Juan to visit Bishop Zumarraga to give him her message of hope, to work together with the Spaniards and the Natives, and as she said "Build me a Temple." Juan tried for two days in a row. He was mocked by the servants of the Bishop, and for all intents and purposes dismissed by Zumarraga. He was told to come back on another day with some proof. Juan pleaded twice with The Virgin to send someone else who was more important. He refers to himself in quite lowly and unworthy terms. The Virgin argues with him, telling him he is worthy, that he is loved and that he is the best person to do her bidding.

On the 11th of December, Juan Diego decides not to go to church because his uncle is gravely ill. He decides that he can wait a day, or until his uncle is better and do what the Virgin asks him to do. Later in the evening, his uncle is near death and asks Juan to seek a priests to administer last rights. In the early hours before the dawn on the 12th of December, Juan decides he will take a different route to church so as not to run into the Virgin where he has always seen her before.

She greets him on the road and asks, "Where are you going?"

What I love about this part of the story is Juan thinking he can avoid the Virgin by taking another road. Juan knows what he should have done the day before, but his uncle was ill, on the verge of death. When he tells her why he did not do as she asks, she told him not to worry that everything was well, that his uncle was safe and to go on and relay her message to the Bishop.

In a way, we seem to be stuck in the realm of December 11th 1531, the same way Juan was stuck. It is dark, we know what we should be doing, but we either don't think we can do it, or we are distracted by the daily dramas of life. Even when we have a magnificent tableau of life, of miracles all around us, we still hesitate, we still procrastinate, we doubt, we get lost in our pain of loss and suffering, we are preoccupied by the seemingly urgent needs of the day. We think that we can avoid God by taking a different route. Why is it that we doubt? 

"Where are you going?" It is a deep call from the Divine. How will we answer?

Mandela 1918-2013

While the outer world swirls in materialistic holiday frenzy as a preparation for Christmas, the spiritual season of Advent is the antithesis of the external festivities filling up our collective calendars. Advent is a season of trials, of preparation, ultimately for making room within our hearts for the Christ.

When we become Christian Initiates, numerous trials must be met and overcome in order to develop moral qualities sufficient for personal evolution and conscious union with the Divine. The microcosm of these trials is the first three weeks of Advent. The first week of Advent is the time of what is called the "Fire Trial." According to Rudolf Steiner, the Fire Trial is understood by witnessing people who have undergone difficult experiences that result in courage, endurance and strength in a healthy way, that enables them to bear immense sorrow with a "greatness of soul."

As the world grieves the loss of one of our ages great spiritual and moral leaders, it is fitting that Nelson Mandela would pass into the afterlife during this first week of Advent. He leaves a legacy as a testament to justice, equanimity and the Christian value of forgiveness. He was sentenced to life in prison, and endured 27 years of captivity. What his decades in prison taught him was that prison takes many forms, and that, as he said in his memoirs,

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.”

For nearly a third of his life he languished in prison, and yet when he was free, he forged a new nation, basing its transition out of apartheid on the notion of forgiveness. 

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Forgiveness is misunderstood by most. One of Christ's last words was asking for forgiveness toward those that were torturing and executing him. Mary could have been filled with hatred and bitterness as she watched her son on the Cross, but we do not hear of this in the Scriptures.

Suffering is the deepest challenge to humanity. It is often sited as the reason why people turn away from God, for how could a benevolent God allow suffering? Suffering opens the heart, creates organs of perception that allow people to perceive the Christ.

Mandela along with Bishop Desmond Tutu established the Truth and Reconciliation Commission as a way to heal the racial divides in South Africa which had been in practice since colonial times, but formalized in 1948. Through the commission victims of horrific violence and injustice had the opportunity to tell their stories to their perpetrators, and to come to a sense of peace and reconciliation. It was thought that to simply punish the perpetrators of violence would only further the cycle. People who have participated in this process claim a freedom from their pain. 

Mandela endured a Trial by Fire few humans have had to face in their lifetime, but he came out with courage, true freedom and a dedication to make his nation a better place.

May we be inspired by his example during this time of Advent. May we be reminded of what we are capable of, and where our true freedom resides.

True, deep freedom comes from within our hearts and souls, from sorrow and suffering that enables us to perceive the Christ. Freedom comes with forgiveness. 

I came of age in the struggles of Apartheid that inspired the world to rally towards justice, and the fall of an oppressive regime without violence, with an aftermath of forgiveness.

May we learn by Mandela's example, that true power comes without weapons, but with freedom of the soul. Rest in peace, Nelson, and thank you for a job well done, oh good and faithful servant.

The Sanctity of Life

There is an ancient Chinese Proverb that states, "May you live in interesting times." Our current age seems to be brimming with this blessing. For the first time in our 10,000 history of civilization, we have the capability to witness events all over the globe through technology. It is hard to discern if life is more intense or we are simply more aware with our 24/7 news cycle and internet capabilities.

It does seem that evil has adapted quite well to our modern communication methods. It also seems as if the nature of evil has taken on a depth unimagined even a decade ago. Some of us long for the simplicity of wars fought on battle fields and civil rights struggles, for it seems at least that reason and justice prevailed in the end. What we face now, on so many levels is overwhelming to even the most courageous. With the onslaught of events, people often sink into fundamentalism of all sorts. They do so because the answers of fundamentalism are easy and the solutions quick. How is it that we can be moral in these complex and challenging times? Who exactly speaks truth? Where are the answers?

For the past several decades, the concept of equating the promotion of life has been the focus of many faith groups. Many Churches and religious groups have poured untold resources into educating and legislating the promotion of "life." What the movement seeks to do is recognize the sanctity of life and the right for all to achieve it through allowing all to be born. This effort has expanded it's influence in the rights sphere, where legislative actions are implemented to restrict access to reproductive technologies and pharmaceuticals. All of this is done in the name of being "life" promoting.

It is easy to rally behind chubby babies, who could be against that? It is also easy to speak up, protest, legislate and work for those who have no personality, no behaviors, who can not argue or act. There is no complexity involved, and those for whom the activism serves, in reality do not exist.

But what about the promotion of life? What exactly enhances life? As Christians, we look at each person as an expression of the divine, as harboring the Christ within. Hildegard of Bingen said that if there was not the action of Eve, then we would not have had the Christ. She also said that the devil hates women, because they birth more people to love and serve Christ.

In this Icon of Hildegard, we see on the left side a picture of a woman in labor. There is a golden tent with eyes inside of it with a thread that goes directly into the woman's womb to her child about to be born. The tent with the eyes is the Trinity, the three layers signifying the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, all enclosed in a for sided square which symbolizes the Earth at it's four elements. This cosmic inheritance of Heaven and Earth being the gift of life to the babe, which is being greeted by the community of humanity. I have always loved this picture, for it captures the essence of our divine inheritance and gift that we receive from life. Within our bodies and natures is the miracle of the alchemy of heaven and earth.

But what is life? What exactly is life and it's purpose? While governments try to curtail access to birth control and abortion, in the spirit of being "pro life" on the one hand, they restrict access to food and health care on the other, they wage war, they allow the destruction of their water, land and people for "investment." The recent declaration through the apostolic exhortation by the Pope calling for the end to the idolatry of money gets to the heart of the insanity of the culture of death. "Just as the commandment 'Thou shalt not kill' sets a clear limit in order to safeguard the value of human life, today we also have to say 'thou shalt not' to an economy of exclusion and inequality. Such an economy kills,"

A recent report by the Tyndall Center in England said that in order to avert the catastrophic consequences of climate change, the people in the first world will have to consume less. I would put the word "stuff" at the end of that last sentence. If not, the resources of the world as well as the damage to the atmosphere that happens to transport it all over the globe will cause terrible harm to life as we know it on the planet. 

On November 28th a large segment of the American population goes shopping. It is seen as the start of the holiday spending extravaganza. People literally trample one another to death after waiting in line for days to purchase......things. Things they really do not need to live, things like televisions and electronic toys. Things that have been shipped from all over the earth, made by nearly slave laborers in unsafe working conditions, creating irreparable damage to local water sources. The damage to the climate from these products has produced weather patterns that are overwhelming populations across the globe. The death toll by the recent typhoon in the Philippines is over 5000, with an additional nearly 2000 missing. Many of the dead are children who were swept from their parents arms. 

Reproductive technologies are violent, cold and disrupt the cycle of life in ways that we are only beginning to understand. But to champion one's self, government or community as promoting life while only focusing on conception is hollow, if on the other hand these individuals and organizations turn their back on the living. 

I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants. Deuteronomy 30:19

We can choose life by feeding the hungry, healing the sick, housing the homeless. We can choose life by consuming less so that our brothers and sisters across the globe are not harmed by the pollution and corruption that is associated with the idolatry of money. We can choose life by paying attention to each one of our behaviors and how they affect the delicate web of life. Let us put as much passion into helping the already living to share in the gifts of life, as many of us do to other activities.

Each of us, the living and the yet to be born, carry the legacy of love from the cosmos within us. Remembering this with each one of our actions towards ourselves, the planet and one another, will truly bring the Kingdom of Heaven upon the earth. Basing our actions, ALL of our actions on the recognition of Christ's permeation of creation, is how we can truly "choose life." 

As we head into Advent, the season of hope for the Incarnation, let us choose life in all of it's glory, majesty and complexity. We can no longer feign ignorance of the consequences of evil in the world, we know how so many in our local and global communities suffer as a consequence of our actions. 

We live in interesting, complex and urgent times, that call for loving courageous acts. Let us honor life by choosing to behave as if the Christ was in every being on the planet, because actually, he is.

The Public Nature of Prayer

In the grand tradition of the adversarial spiritual powers, a case is before the Supreme Court of the United States arguing the permissibility of a town hall meeting in New York to begin with Prayer. An atheist and a Jewish person brought the suit, complaining that the prayers uttered before the meetings were "Too Christian." 

The Town tried to be more inclusive in the prayers, inviting representatives of other faiths, even a Wiccan priestess, to begin the meetings with prayers from different traditions, but this was not enough. So the arguments were heard today, and a decision will be rendered next Summer. 

For those who wish to ban the prayers, their main argument is that religious practices are divisive. My question to them would be, is it unifying to forbid someone from publicly professing the foundations of their soul? I have traveled throughout the world, attending services in all manner of Churches, Synagogues, Temples and Mosques. I have witnessed Native American ceremonies. Never once did I feel that another's expression of their understanding of the Divine, diminished mine, even when I disagreed with the tenants of their faith. Reverence is universal when it comes to spiritual practice, can we not appreciate Reverence in all traditions, while silently adhering to our own traditions? 

My family suffered deeply under communism, medical treatment was withheld, jobs denied, property confiscated due to overt expressions of Christianity. For decades, Baptisms had to be done in secret for fear of retribution. When you look at the history of early Christianity and the persecutions, I often wonder if I would be strong enough to incur the wrath of Rome to publicly profess my faith. The subsequent history of the persecution of Muslims and Jews in Europe by Christians is a tragic and violent one, and the current state of affairs amongst different Islamic sects, Christians, Jews and Hindus, there is enough bloodshed, cruelty and ignorance to make the current spat over prayers at a town hall meeting seem arbitrary.

How can we respect different approaches to reverence and tradition, while still evangelizing the healing message of Christ? Our Islamic and Jewish brethren have centuries of pain and exclusion at the hand of Christians, how do we honor this past while healing the present? And to our atheist community members, how is it that we can respect their orientation, while being welcoming and inclusive of them as well?

While bringing a case to the Supreme Court is a civilized way to resolve conflict, the body is an earthly one. I do not need a court to give me permission to pray in public. I do so all the time, as God and I are in a continuous conversation, he trying to convey his intent, and me trying to understand while giving constant questions, petitions and thanks throughout the day and night.

I think St Francis of Assisi said it the most eloquently, "Preach the Gospel at all times, when necessary, use words." He gave this charge to missionaries on their way to the Holy Land, and started the tradition of evangelization through hospitality.

I fear the decision on prayer to be released this Summer will only be used to further divide our community, and silence Christian expressions of peace. Some group will feel invalidated with the decision. For me, I do not need permission to pray publicly, but I will keep pondering and asking God, how can we be more inclusive and loving, so that when a Christian prayer is uttered, it is an occasion for peace, harmony and an invitation to experience the greatest of all loves.